Wednesday, 9 September 2009


I went to see a flat this morning, and it was lovely(ish) but there was a £5 a night fee if you wanted any guests ... eh?! I find it quite difficult to say anything bad to these people and always end up saying 'yeah... it's great.... I'll call you tomorrow...' and I would have if it hadn't have been for that dodgy £5 mumble. Anyway - enough said about that. I do still need a flat though as I'm going evermore insane not being able to escape to 'my room' which is filled with nothing apart from the stuff I want to be in there. If I ever get sick or go completely crazy I need a place to sleep for a week without being disturbed to get over it. I need a place to go where I don't have to think and can look like hell if I want to. I'm so stressed out that I have a cold sore now. Great. And I have nowhere I can just pass out for a week ... you see what I mean. UF. I have so many things that are dancing around my head at the moment that all I want to do is write some more chapters, but I don't feel I can if I'm not in 'my room' you know? I have a theory that everything that is going on in my life at the moment was pre-destined to happen to me so I can write about it ... it is uncanny how many things that have happened recently sound like a direct copy and paste out of my novel plan. Crazy. Anyway ... I'm sitting here now alone for the first time in a while, everyone in this house has gone out or to work, and this room doesn't have a TV and I love it. I decided that when I moved I wasn't going to have a TV - bot because I'm one of those people who try to sound amazing and say 'I hate TV, never watch it' but because I love TV ... I love it far too much, will watch anything, which is bad. Come to think of it maybe that's what the 'I hate TV' people do. Oh my I'm going to turn into one of those people! hope not .. I'll always make room for ANTM ;) I think I should really stop writing now as I have just read this back and I sound as though I have ADHD --- I'm not hyper, or maybe I am, or maybe I've just gone crazy. All I know for sure right now is this: the light in this room earlier was lovely.


Vanessa. said...

I can completely empathise with you, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my little haven of a bedroom to myself! It must be awful not having one, it's the only place in my house I can truly unwind and be myself. :( Chin up, everything will be alright soon when you find a new place :) xx

Anonymous said...

Natanya, I am glad you liked the room ...lovely(ish)! Sorry about the guest charge but we have had to introduce this in houses where bills are included to stop people taking advantage. Most people have considered it fair!

I also have a new studio flat where bills are not included. You may prefer this. No guest charge!!

All of us go through periods in our lives when we need to get away and clear our mind. I have found it helpful to talk with family and friends. Writing is also a good way to express one's feelings. Later, reading what one has written is often illuminating!

Good luck!